Still single and thinking that it sucks? Tired of dating fakes, flakes and fibbers? Frustrated by “low quality” dates? You’re busy – or, like the rest of us, desire instant gratification – and want the truth. So like a good, stiff drink, here it is: if we want to have a better date then we’ve got to be a better date.
How to be a better date:
1. Do a check-up from the neck up! Get an attitude adjustment. When we’re out of alignment on how we think about dating, mating and love, our actions are skewed. We feel crappy so we send out crappy vibes. Um, #notattractive.
2. Start with the (wo)man in the mirror. Every self-help and dating guru emphasizes focusing on our own reflection. If we want love from an open, available, loving person, we also need to be that person.
3. Love they neighbour as thyself. Yikes! Some of us don’t love ourselves much. Make time to work on that. There are bountiful books, blogs and websites that can help (my personal fun fave ) or get a love/empowerment coach ( m e ! Or check out Tonia).
4. When you’re ready to get dating, be sure to approach every possible partner with curiosity, not expectation. Expectation leads to disappointment. Curiosity doesn’t. Being interested makes you interesting. Plus, you’ll both have a better time. High five!
5. Stop saying/thinking/feeling that there are no good singles out there. It is true that what we think about we bring about, and when we believe it, we’ll see it! I’ll stop there (true story: I’ve met so many great singles in Vancouver that I’ve hired an assistant to keep track, and I just moved here).
6. These dating tips are crazy: make eye contact, smile, say, “Hello.” This is top-notch no-nonsense advice, folks. All sarcasm aside, it amazes me how little this happens. Try it, you might like it. What the heck, make a game of it. This kind of game is fun.
7. Remember that dating and finding our right match is an explorative journey, not a time-sensitive mission. Desperation is a strong and so-not-sexy scent. There’s more than one potentially right person for each of us, but mostly there are not-right-for-us prospects. We wouldn’t want to be attracted to every Tom, Dick or Sally and we wouldn’t want our partner to be either. Think of it as a treasure hunt, but don’t act like a hunter. Or think of it as a romantic comedy, and you’re the star!
How you write your next scene is totally up to you.
Date better by being a better date and you’ll win the dating game. Plus, it’s way more fun!
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