I still remember the first time I sawFiddler on the Roof.Coming from my Midwestern U.S. upbringing, the concept of a matchmaker was unbelievable.I quickly assumed it was a tradition from the past and no longer relevant – something I wouldn’t see in practice in my lifetime. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The first hint that the profession was still aroundcame with the launch of reality television show, The Millionaire Matchmaker. I began to talk with my diverse group of friends and found that several of them had very successful arranged marriages. Things shifted into focus as I began to notice the number of adults struggling to find a life partner. Most were open to assistance. To say that I became intrigued with this career is an understatement.
When my friend Randi Winter introduced me toSouth Asian Millionaires Club matchmaker Anita Ram-Sharma, I knew she had to be apart of my 8Q column. I hope you enjoy this behind the scenes look into a demanding but rewarding career as much as I did. Wouldn’t it be interesting to job shadow Ram-Sharma for a day to see how the process works?
8Q Spotlight Anita Ram-Sharma
What is your current career – paid and unpaid?
I am the Matchmaker for South Asian Millionaires Club. However, I do not work exclusively with the South Asian Community, but with anyone looking for love. I work one-on-one with individuals to assist them in what they are looking for in a partner. We base our matches on compatibility and physical attraction. It takes time to work with each member because we have found that they have often left previous relationships that may have caused them emotional abuse.
I thought that being a third generation matchmaker was going to be easy. My father and grandparents set up couples together for marriage. There are arranged marriages, but I focus more on the individuals and not on the family’s choice. I have found that in the Indian community, there are a lot of problems when it comes to marriage. We have to help them realize that you do not get married just for the family. This is where I have taken most of my time dealing with our community. They rather phone and talk to you, instead of meeting you face to face. I end up volunteering my time to help and just listen to them. Sometimes it is good to speak to someone who understands their position.
Life is not always about money. I can give a man or woman the confidence to believe in themselves. We give them love & support so that they can realize they have to love and respect themselves first.
Can you share an interesting thing (or two) about your journey to reach this moment?
When I was 25 years old, my parents took me to Fiji Island and arranged my marriage. I never realized my life would be put in this situation. When I started that journey with a man I never knew – other than his name, age, and how he looked – I was scared. I left it in God’s hands. We have been married for 24 years and it has been a great challenge. I realized it is not about looks or just being married. He has taught me to be myself and loves me for who I am. He never tried to change me, like so many other marriages. I thought I was getting a husband, but I received my best friend.
I became a matchmaker for the new generation to show them that any relationship is work and help them realize there are good people out there. Also, I want to show old generations that they have to trust their children. There is no such thing as a perfect person out there. Do not care what society thinks and live for yourself. Show your children that you should not get married just for the purpose of getting married. Getting a husband or a wife is not what people should be looking for in a life partner. They should be looking for their best friend.
What 3 things would you like people to know about you to give them a sense of who you really are?
I am a very spiritual person who is never out to judge anyone and am so grateful for having a caring heart. I get up every day and live my life by gratitude. I teach my boys that love and respect are the most important things in life. Sometimes we meet people that come into our lives to only hurt or betray us, but we have to thank God because he brought that person into our life for a reason. I love what I do: bringing people together and showing that it is okay to have another life after being divorced or widowed. Loving and being happy is the only to live.
What has been your highest moment so far?
When I see my boys, Steven and Devin, who are such well-behaved, loving human beings. They are just like my husband and me – very caring about one’s feelings. They see what I do in my business and it makes them appreciate relationships, knowing it is hard work but such a reward when you find the right person to share your life with. I know that if I died tomorrow, I was a great mom.
What are you working on right now? In the next 6 months?
South Asian Millionaires Club only works in North America, but we are planning to expand into other countries such as the UK, South Africa, Dubai, China, Australia, India and Fiji Island to bring life partners together all around the world. There are no borders when it comes to looking for love. Knowing we can travel all around the world and find the right match for that individual person is the biggest success.
Who and/or what inspires you?
My past members inspire me because they always say, “Thank you for bringing my best friend in my life.” When I get a phone call from someone who just needs a friend to hear their life story and not to judge them, I just say, “It will be okay.” You do not need to see them in person to tell them that they are beautiful and the universe is in their hands.
I follow my life by “The Secret”: believe in yourself; the past is the past. You cannot change the past but you can learn the lessons it has given you. Live life for today and love life. Move on because you are a beautiful human being. God is always there to lift you up by sending you angels in different human beings. All religion teaches you love and respect.
How do you personally define success?
Success is not about how much money you have, your net worth, or your status. Success is about how you make a difference in people’s life, what you taught them, and what you learned from them. Try not to judge anyone because you do not know what they went through in life to be in that position they are in. Share a caring heart. Show love and respect to all. This is success in my life.
If you could have one superpower what would it be?
If I had one super power, I would make sure there was no hate in anyone’s soul. When you put babies in a room full of people, they do not see colour or religion. They play with each other. The funny thing is, if the world would learn from our babies, then the world would be heaven. My work as a matchmaker would be a little easier because our members would not demand which race, cast or religion they are wanting in a life partner. They would only demand to find their best friend and be happy.
- Art & Design
- Casting Opportunities
- Celebrity Photographer
- E-commerce - null
- Event Photos
- Feast or Famine
- Health & Fitness
- Media Partners
- News Magazine
- Our City Tonight
- Products And Services
- Real Estate
- Science & Technology
- Series In Production
- Social Issues
- Talent Agency
- Travel + Leisure