Hitting 40 and realizing your OVARIES have AGED out of the game!

Dear readers,

Yesterday this writer turned 40 years old. On the morning of my birthday at about 6:00 am I woke up and realized 2 very important things.

1) It was time to give up on the object of my unrequited crush and move on. It was not healthy to use this poor unassuming individual and my passionate crush on them as a EXCUSE to stay out of the dating game. 

2) If I reactivated my dormant Plenty of Fish account I was going to have to change the box that asks if you want children from UNDECIDED to DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN. 

Thinking that I may one day want children I set about making some prudent plans. Back in 2012 I went to the Willow woman’s clinic on Broadway St in Vancouver and requested a NON-HORMONAL-COPPER diaphragm. Intra-uterine Copper diaphragms are the most widely used method of birth control in the world

For women in their late thirty’s and beyond the STRATEGIC benefit of opting for an intra-uterine non-hormonal copper diaphragm is that there are no drugs and pharmacological side effects to have to worry about. If you happen to secure an adequate sperm donor all you need to do is have the IUD removed by a qualified Dr and conception can theoretically occur immediately. 

Image of an intra-uterine copper diaphragm:


WWW.METROLIVINGZINE.COM News Image Credit: http://bit.ly/1xl5kN2

If you are in your late thrirty’s or early forty’s and considering having children but still want to use birth-control opting for a non-hormonal copper IUD makes sense. Once a Dr. removes the device you do not need to wait for your hormones to readjust. Theoretically, once the IUD is removed you are ready, willing, and able to conceive immediately. 

In consultation with the staff at the Willow Woman’s Clinic I made the decision to permanently shelve the idea of having children once I hit 40 if I was not in a healthy partnership. The idea of searching for a mate at this age, getting to know them, and then trying to conceive just seemed too high-pressure and rushed for comfort. 


WWW.METROLIVINGZINE.COM News Image Credit http://bit.ly/1wwRg57

So there you are dear reader. Today I am 40 years old, not in a relationship (healthy or unhealthy) and I have opted out of having children. How do I feel? I FEEL FANTASTIC! I feel relief, like a HUGE burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel free to focus on my business. More importantly, I feel free from family pressure to get married and produce a grandchild. I feel free to live my life as I see fit. I feel free to chose THE RIGHT guy and not just any guy who APPEARS to be READY, WILLING, and ABLE to be good father material. I feel strong, healthy, fit and EMANCIPATED from a societal expectation that just did not make sense for the the woman I have become.

Did I yearn to have children as a teenager or young adult?  NO! In 2012 my father had a profound stroke that irreversibly ripped apart the fabric of my family. That was when on some level I realized I had lost my nuclear family and contemplated starting my own. From a purely pragmatic perspective I also considered producing a grandchild for my father before he potentially has a more serious stroke. 

In the final analysis, the act of child birth and child rearing does not appeal to me –  nor does it in fit with my lifestyle. My lifestyle demands that I dress up several nights a week to attend various networking functions. I am single and live on my own. If I had opted to have a child I would not have any familial assistance raising them. I am certain that you have heard the expression, “it takes an entire village to raise a child”. Well, I feel like a child from time to time! Frankly, even at 40 I still thoroughly enjoy dressing up inappropriately for my age and dancing till 3:00 am.

Author: Unknown Urbane 40 year old feminist.